Yes, I know. I am a slacker. Apparently I am a really poor blogger. I mean really, how hard is it to type a few sentences once a day. I can certainly TALK that much, why can't I write that much? At any rate, I haven't been keeping up with blog as well as I'd like (I know, I know. I say this ALL the time). But I'm here now, so that counts, doesn't it?
So I've been kind of at a stand still weight loss wise. I won't call it a plateau because really its my fault for see-sawing between these stupid same TWO pounds for TWO months. I know many of you may think, "Hey Gabbi. That's great. You've maintained your weight." But the reality of it is that I could have lost at least another 8 lbs in that time. Instead, I'm staying right where I am playing yo-yo. Think of it like this: Pretend you are in the middle of a lake. You're stuck in the same spot and all you are doing is treading water and not making any progress. If all you do is tread water and not go anywhere, eventually you're going to tire out, give up, and sink. Now, I'm not saying I'm going to give up, because I'm not. But burning out is something I have been familiar with in the past, which is why I have never made it past a 30 lb loss. Now I have dreams and goals, and by golly I am determined to eventually reach them, but it is SOOOO frustrating at times to see where I should have been by now and seeing where I am. Losing 35 lbs is no simple feat. I'm proud that I have accomplished that much. But in other ways I am disappointed with myself for not giving 100% all of the time. you'd think that since I know what I need to do and how I need to do it, that I would just do it already. But this is a very tough struggle for some people to deal with and when it comes to food decisions my taste buds seem to win every battle with my mind. I am trying to work on that, but this isn't the easiest time of year to be dealing with this either. I guess I say all that to say that I am still in the race. Its obviously not a race of speed but a race of endurance, to which at some point, I will see the finish line. Its not going to be easy, it never is and I never thought it was. But I can't wait to be able to one day finally cross that finish line and finish this race.
Weight wise, I am right about the same as I was 2 weeks ago. I'm finally over my cold, which has now passed on to Ray. Grace and Nate are both doing well, but I'm dealing with a shoulder problem that I've had for the good part of a month (if not a whole month already). I'm not sure what it is thats wrong, but I can barely lift my arm above my head, I cannot scratch my back with that arm, I can hardly lift objects with that arm either. Its really stinky not having insurance, otherwise I would have already been to the doctor to have it checked out. I'm sure its fine, but its really hard to rest it when I absolutely have to use my arm ALL day long, each and every day. Its nearly impossible to NOT use it, which worries me that if rest is all I need to feel better, I may never feel better =) I'm not one to complain about physical pain much, I usually try to suck things up and deal with it thanks to my high tolerance for pain, so when I actually mention something, its usually really bothering me. So, if you think about it, please say a little prayer for my shoulder.
