I spent my birthday on Tuesday in the hospital for clinical. Despite the fact that I had to be there for nearly 12 hrs AND I was coming down with a stinky cold on top of it, I had a wonderful day.
First, my study buddy (as we call each other), Linda, surprised me with a box of donuts, a birthday balloon, a card and flowers at the hospital. Then she even ordered pizza for lunch as a birthday treat.
That evening I came home, surprised by the fact that Ray cooked me a fantastic dinner, totally not giving him enough credit that he can cook a real dinner. I must say, he did better than I would have! He made steak, broccoli and cheese, and homemade garlic mashed potatoes. Man, those were restaurant style mashed potatoes! He did a great job and I feel bad I underestimated his ability. He had asked me what I wanted to eat for dinner that night and honestly I was wondering why we didn't just go out since I couldn't think of something for him to make me.
But I was WAY wrong. My hubby has hidden cooking talents. Now he may regret being so good at cooking :)
Anyway, I can't believe I am 34. It just sounds so out of proportion to how young I feel. I am glad everyone is surprised when they learn my age and tell me I look like I am still in my 20's (I hope this continues forever!) But I see 34 and think that's older but its not. Its me now. I don't feel it, so I guess that means more than what my birth certificate says.
It amazes me how fast life goes by. I think back at where I was half a life ago. I was 17. It seems so surreal. I was excited about graduating high school in the next year. Here I am about to FINALLY graduate college; it only took me 17 years. Ha. That was also the time, the only time, I've ever lost someone I really loved- my grandfather. After this year, I will have lived more years without him than I did with him. Before, it was always the opposite. But I still remember him and I still miss him dearly. It seems so long ago but at the same time, time has moved so quickly. I think I'm rambling now.
I think getting older only bothers me for a few reasons.
- I am going to start my nursing career at 34 when I could have had 10 years experience already.
- While I don't "feel" 34, getting older snaps me into reality that our lives have a mortality factor that we can't ignore. I might not feel 90, but that doesn't mean my body systems are going to work according to how old I feel.
- The older I get, the older the kids get. I miss the days when they were 2, still in awe by the things around them. Still so wide-eyed and wondered. They still learn about their surroundings, but its just different when they're 2 or 3.
This makes me think of one my favorite songs to listen to on the radio, by a group called Revive. The name of the song is called Blink.
Teach me to number my days
And count every moment before it slips away
Taking all the colors before they fade to gray
I don't want to miss even just a second more of this
It happens in a blink
It happens in a flash
It happens in the time it takes to look back
I try to hold on tight, but there's no stopping time
What is it I've done with my life
It happens in a blink (x2)
When it's all said and done
No one remembers how far we have run
The only thing that matters is how we have loved
I don't want to miss even just a second more of this
It happens in a blink
It happens in a flash
It happens in the time it takes to look back
I try to hold on tight, but there's no stopping time
What is it I've done with my life
It happens in a blink (x4)
Slow down, slow down
Before today becomes our yesterday
Slow down, slow down
Before you turn around and it's too late
It happens in a blink
it happens in a flash
it happens in the time it takes to look back
I try to hold on tight but there's no stopping time
What is it I've done with my life
It happens in a blink
It happens in a blink
it happens in a flash
it happens in the time it takes to look back
I try to hold on tight but there's no stopping time
What is it I've done with my life
It happens in a blink (x4)
